McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just blew my weed a kiss
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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