The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
