And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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