He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
