So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
