How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
