haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
