I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
