i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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