Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
