Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
