Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
