Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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