vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize