Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just had sex bonerless
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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