Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I FOUND THE LEGS
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
