; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
