Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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