she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
