I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
