wakey wakey hands off snakey
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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