Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
