My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
either way he was missing a nipple.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
