So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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