haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
