I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
