mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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