i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
