Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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