What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
