I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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