is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize