OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
