I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
