All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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