is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
