Non-Jews are for practice
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
