everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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