I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Drunk is a universal language darling
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
