he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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