At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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