I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
