if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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