My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
