All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize