I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
