woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
