i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
