So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
