if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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