I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
