Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
