lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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