I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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