That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
