Your tits are I can't wait for
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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