Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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