I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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