You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
