no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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