I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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