party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
