How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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