it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How does one acquire holy water?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
